Last night I picked Rebecca up, five long and difficult weeks. Before, I didn’t know that the time away would be so hard and, Later, I didn’t realize that it was in fact so hard, at least,, not until pulling up to Union Station, seeing the dork in their airplane suit (tailored jacket and pants; suave traveler), exchanging kisses, “okay, get in! there’s cars behind us!,” I drove us home to Burbank, Arthur Russell, my hand in their lap, suddenly welling tears, Rebecca suddenly noticing, laughing, “aww” then bawling, big feelings, crying too, a sure November rain, crispness, slick roads, seeing it again, then I knew how hard it’d been. It’s a wild time, this changing together, I missed you.
“If I try to be so free that you
Can't remember me
When I come back next fall
I take my time to learn but forget it all
I write myself a letter instead of writing you
See your mind makes faces
See your mind makes faces in the mirror at you”